When Home Doesn’t Feel Like Home Anymore
It was a little hard to start writing this post. I didn’t know where to start or how to explain the way I was feeling.
At the end, I just realized that I had to describe this like I was talking with a friend; and duh, that was the whole point of this post anyway.
Writing “When Home Doesn’t Feel Like Home Anymore” it’s my way to pour my heart out in this blog and share my thoughts with all of you, just like I did with my quarter of life crisis post.
When Home Doesn’t Feel Like Home Anymore
Doesn’t it feel strange that, after years of living in the same place, things start not feeling like they used to? That the mere thought of leaving your hometown and spread your wings doesn’t scare you anymore? Or when you start thinking about starting your life away from your loved ones doesn’t make you sad anymore?
For me, those feelings started not so long ago. But everything started two years ago when I came back from my semester abroad in the US.
After months of being alone and having a taste of independence, and living in another country with a different culture. Going back to old rules made me rethink my reality.
It was also the moment where my quarter of life crisis started, as well as my international long-distance relationship.
Everything went back to normal once school started again and I was following a routine that kept me busy and happy. Although, that thought never left my mind. I just decided to keep it at the back of my head. I wasn’t ready to address the issue yet.
During that time, there were moments where I would have loved to pack my bags and leave. But after an hour you would find me cuddling with my mom in her bed. Or making jokes with my dad about something dumb. Even the thought of leaving my sister and dog broke my heart. My head was all over the place.
I mean, how uncomfortable can it be that you don’t feel like you fit in your own house? Or that you feel like a foreigner in your country? Let me tell you. It was hard. And it made me really sad. I wasn’t ready to grow up yet. I was still a little girl who needed her parents to lead the way.
I felt like something was forcing me to say goodbye, not only to my family but friends too. Friends that I have known almost my whole life. Friends that have been with me in every new adventure and birthdays. And Friends that have been with me in the hard times too.
And the worst part… I was feeling like a stranger too. Was something wrong with me? How could I change so much in just six months? Honestly, everything was a question mark for me. But the answer was easy.
I was finding home in a new place, and people. Because a home is not just a physical place. It’s also where the heart is.
Your home will always be the place for which you feel the deepest affection, no matter where you are. Click To Tweet
Being At Peace With Your Feelings
Recently I came back from a trip where I spend almost a month away from Chile, my home, family, and friends. And not even after a week of being at home, the feeling of when home doesn’t feel like home anymore hit me hard.
I just woke up one day and the realization struck me, bringing a sense of serenity. Because for the first time in my 23 years, I was ready to leave the nest. And without feeling guilty or sad. I was letting that scared little girl go.
I can’t say that when the moment comes, it won’t be sad. Or hard. I know that I will feel homesick at the new place I will be. Because even though is what I needed. Leaving the people I have known my whole life and that I love like crazy can be very heartbreaking.
At the end, I realized that me leaving my house, family or country. Doesn’t mean that I won’t care for them anymore. Or that they are going to be in a second place. It means that I’m choosing to be myself somewhere else. A place where I can fully develop and start a new chapter in my life.
That was the thing that was making me the saddest. But once you have the chance to hear your heart and mind. You understand that leaving home it’s not a bad thing. It’s just how life works.
When home doesn’t feel like home anymore is a feeling you should take as an opportunity to grow. Also, it doesn’t mean you won’t see them anymore. It just might take a little more of effort.
In addition, I just wanted to clarify that here in South America things are a little bit different than in other countries. The moment where we start being independent it’s when we find a steady job, and sometimes not even that lets you leave your parents house. On average, people leave their parent’s house when they get married.
When home doesn’t feel like home anymore can be a hard topic, so I found more articles on people talking about their experiences. You can read them here, here, and here.
So tell me about your experience. Have you ever felt like that? Let me know in the comments!
Sincerely,
I felt like this a lot when I was in my last semester of college and just ready to stop studying and get out and start living my life. I’ve always taken this feeling as a jumping off point and knowing it was time for a big change. You’re definitely not alone!
When you know big changes are coming is the worst and the best. Like you are excited but scared!
I love the post such a good words! i understandable for you to feeling, you have bright future keep going on one day you are reach d your goals.
uryourstyle
Thank you! That means a lot! <3
I can relate to this on so many levels. I had a quarter life crisis as well, and I felt so lost after I ended a 5-year relationship. I felt stuck in my job. My friends were all moving on. That’s why I decided to go work on a cruise ship. It was the best decision I made. After a year, I moved back home, but it feels more like home again. I 100% sympathize with your situation. Good luck on your journey. It’s tough now, but you’ll pull through!
What a great decision! Adventures like that in the middle of a crisis are the best! Thanks, Tiffany!
This was amazing to read! I’ve definitely felt that way before – it’s a strange feeling really. So glad you opened up about this!
New feelings always make me feel weird hahaha. But I feel better once I realize what’s going on with myself.
I totally get what you mean in this post. I think I felt like this more so in college, but I’ve definitely had similar feelings. Thanks for opening up and sharing this!
Thanks for reading! Yeah, in college we start having these kind of feelings.
Love this heartfelt post! When I was away at college I definitely felt like this at times.
xo, Lily
Beauty With Lily
Those time are the firsts when we are far from home!
I’ve been feeling like this a lot recently! I had a really tough adjustment coming back to the US after my semester abroad and I think I realized right then and there that it wasn’t my “forever home”
Tori
http://www.mooretori.com
Yeah. Once you start seeing the world you realized that there’s so much more for you!
I definitely agree that home is where the heart is. I’ve kind of struggled with this but in a different way and I’m sorry you don’t feel like your home is your home anymore. It’s not a fun feeling.
It’s not fun. But I take it as I need to find my place in this big world. And for sure, home is where the heart is!
I have definitely felt the same way! I studied abroad last summer and it didn’t even phase me that I would only be home for two days before going back to school. Oddly, this semester, all I’ve wanted to do is get away from my college town and home has become a sanctuary again. Strange how it fluctuates!
Totally! It’s depending on how you feel about the place you are.
This post was so honest and heartfelt. I’ve felt the same way too, I always miss my family, my dog, friends and my home. So after traveling, I’ve taken some time to enjoy being at home and to fall in love with everything I missed while away. I know I’m not done traveling and exploring just yet, but I feel as though making the best of home will make me appreciate my travels much more, and I won’t feel as guilty for leaving. You’re definitely not alone in your feelings, sometimes home doesn’t feel as it used to as we grow and change xx
Sending light & love your way,
My Lovelier Days
It definitely makes you appreciate your travels more! Leaving family for new adventures is always hard. But once we find our place everything gets better. Thanks for reading, Diana! <3
Love how raw this post is! I don’t know if I ever experienced this, I definitely have to think about it.
Thanks Alex! <3 It comes with time I guess…
this is so real! being at my parents’ home now feels kind of strange after not living there for years… kind of like i’m at someone else’s house?
Yes! Exactly that! It definitely feels like I’m in someone else’s house.
Every time I come home from college for the holidays I get that same weird feeling. It’s like I slip back into my old routines and I feel like I’m in high school again. I start to feel trapped and smothered. I’ve realized now that it’s because I’ve built a new home and a new life for myself at college and things will never quite be the same again…I guess we are growing up!
Feeling trapped is the worst! Yes, that’s when we realize we are growing up.
I have never abroad that long but def understandable for you to feel this way. Thanks so much for this post. Good Luck
I’m glad you liked it! <3
Thank you for sharing your emotions and the hard parts of experiencing this! I think it’s definitely understandable that you feel this way especially as an adult!
Thanks Grace! It can be hard to express emotions.
It is totally understandable that you would have these feelings after being abroad for 6 months. I think everyone experiences these feelings at some point in their life.
Totally! At some point everyone feels like that .
I can totally relate to this! My mom still lives in the house I grew up in…. and while I still enjoy visiting home a couple times a year, it stopped really feeling like home when I moved out of state for college. Growing up can be so weird!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
I agree! Growing up can be very weird!
You’re totally right, just like with your long distance relationship, your relationship with your family doesn’t have to suffer because you’re living far apart. Opportunities can sometimes be scary but can be totally worth it for your career or personal life. If you’re ever in Texas let’s meet up! I’d love to host you for a weekend!
Exactly! Opportunities are worth the risk. I would love that! I will totally let you know! <3
Such a hard feeling, but an unavoidable part of growing up. Good luck with all the changes heading your way!
Thank you, Hannah! I can say I’m ready 🙂