Thoughts You Have When You Start A Long Distance Relationship

Hey there, lovelies! It’s time for a new post about long distance relationships. Today I want to talk about the thoughts you have when you start a long distance relationship.

Feelings can be overwhelming and we might not know if we made the right decision.

• Related: 13 Things You Need To Know Before Starting A Long Distance Relationship

It’s a time when doubts bomb your mind and you don’t know where to start or what to think. That’s why I wanted to shed some light about long distance relationships.

We all know that they are hard and they suck. But there’s so much more we don’t realize until we go through it.

[title align=”center” type=”line”]Thoughts You Have When You Start A Long Distance Relationship[/title]

Is this really going to work out?

This is the biggest fear when you start a long distance relationship. We know that many things can go wrong and we worry that love might no be enough, but believe me, it’s enough when both parties want it to make it work. 

I do have to agree that LDRs are not ideal (we know how important physical contact is), but when you don’t see yourself without the other person, is worth the shot.

Time zones are bullshit

One of the first thoughts you have when you start a long distance relationship!

A two hour difference can have a big impact in the way you communicate with your boyfriend or girlfriend. When there’s  a bigger difference, it’s important to find a strategy that works for both of you.

Communication is key. Without it, how are you supposed to connect with your significant other?

Try to plan a schedule. Set a time when both of you can talk everyday in real time. Not only texting, but if possible, video chatting as well.

For this, I recommend the app Houseparty. You can video chat while you play games. It’s super fun!

For how long can I make this work?

Being in a long distance relationship forever is not the idea. At some point you will want to settle down. To reach that point you will have to go through some obstacles.

For some, it can be school. For others, like me, it meant school (at some point) + the fact that we live in different countries. Moving together is not as easy as you might think.

So, question arise. Can I keep doing this for 4 years? Or longer?

• Related: What To Do When The Distance Is Too Much

Setting a timeline for your relationship is not necessary (sometimes is impossible to know when you can finally close the distance), but I encourage it.

It helps to have some sense of achievement and progress. You can be one day at the point of quitting, but reminding yourself that ‘hey, there’s just one more year of distance. I can definitely make it work’. It’s a great way to encourage yourself.

That countdown can be helpful.

How many times will I be able to see my boyfriend this year?

Well, that depends on many factors, like where you two are living, your finances, etc. This is definitely one of the most worrying thoughts you have when you start a long distance relationship.

If you live two hours away from each other, then you might be able to see your boyfriend a lot more than you think.

Things get complicated when you need to take a flight to close the distance.

I get to see my boyfriend every four months or so, but it’s definitely a struggle when we have to spend around $800 (for just the flight) every time we want to see each other.

So things can get complicated, but finding a balance is the way to go. Maybe meet halfway, take turns to pay, etc. In general, try to minimize the costs and be organize.

Set dates with time and plan in advance. That way you will also have something to look up for.

Fight over the phone suck

Or… how can I punch him over the phone *inserts red angry face here*.

Having an argument when the person is not in front of you is hard. It can escalate quickly and things can get messy super fast. Also, there can be many misunderstandings while texting. Emojis are important, people!

• Related: How To Deal With Arguments In Long Distance Relationships

It’s important to keep a cool head in the middle of an argument. Be neutral if the other person can’t. Or just have some time to cool-off before replying to a comment.

Is it hard? Fuck yes! I’m the kind of person that has to say something in the moment. I’ll be like: ‘you know what, I won’t acknowledge that’, but after a few minutes I’ll be typing a long AF paragraph talking about my feelings.

Don’t be like me, because I have escalated a petty argument into something more serious real fast, making things worst.

Arguments will happen no matter what, but learning how to deal with them will make a huge difference in your relationship.

Did I make the right decision?

Yes, yes you did. What was the other option? Breaking up?

Starting a long distance relationship is a big step, but an easy decision to make if you are willing to make an effort.

Some people say that they aren’t made for LDRs, but I just think they haven’t met the right person to experience it.

It’s not easy and it takes a lot of commitment and work. Is tough at the beginning, not gonna lie, but learn how to deal with the hardships that comes with this kind of relationship.

For example: jealousy, when you want to cuddle with him but can’t, having no one to go out with, etc.

• Related: 15 Bittersweet Moments Every Long Distance Relationship Couple Can Relate To

Just know that all relationships have ups and downs, just that in a long distance relationships, the downs are usually tougher. Because problems are harder to solver when distance is between you two.

So don’t give up easily!

In my opinion, it’s always worth even though it doesn’t work out. At least you didn’t give up.

Why does everyone think they can have an opinion about my relationship?

Girl, I KNOW. The moment I mention I’m in a long distance relationship I get a surprised face. Then million of questions, being the top one: why?.

Excuse me, that’s none of your business. That what I want to say, but I usually smile politely and just give them a short story of how we met. Then awwws come next and I just want to roll my eyes.

• Related: Things People In Long Distance Relationship Don’t Want To Hear

Am I a little bitter about it? Maybe, but I’m just tired of explaining myself after almost 5 years of relationship.

Once you open that door. It’s hard to close it, especially if you get to see those noisy people a lot. For example, there’s one old man at work that always asks me if I’m still in a relationship like once a month. WTF?

Or when some people assume that being in a LDR means that your are in an open relationship. It can happen, but people in an open relationship will usually tell you.

I don’t think their intention is to be rude, but some questions aren’t necessary. Especially when they are personal. Or when they want to give you unsolicited advice (usually not a nice one).

But, we have to deal with it. Just don’t let those people question your decision.

I don’t know if I can do this anymore

This is one of the thoughts you have when you start a long distance relationship that can scare you the most.

You might have doubts. Especially when you read about all this couples that couldn’t make the long-distance work.

Or you might see your friends dating with people in your same city and that makes you feel jealous because they can actually spend time with their significant other whenever they want.

Seeing couple holding hands or going on dates while you are alone is also a sore spot for you. We want it and we can’t have it. It’s frustrating and it can make you think you don’t want to deal with the distance anymore.

It’s understandable if you are reconsider your decision, but make sure to give it time at first.

The first few months will be all about adapting. Getting used to texting, instead of talking in person. Realizing you can’t just drive to his house and be there in a few minutes.

It takes time and you need to be patience. Give yourself some time to absorb the reality of a long distance relationship. 

Wait until you already know what’s really like to be in a LDR. How do you handle arguments? Are you learning how to communicate by phone? Is the situation too much for both of you?

Many things can happen during the process of learning. So I would recommend that before making any harsh decision.

Why isn’t he replying to my texts? Is he avoiding me?

Oh, boy. This questions will come to your mind more often than you think. Maybe you already know that. It’s just something we can’t avoid thinking.

The reality is that, even though it seems that we have our phones on our hands 24/7, it’s not really true.

He might be taking a nap, studying, super busy at work or socializing. The options why he isn’t picking up his phone are endless.

I mean yes, he can actually be avoiding you, but don’t assume so. Remember that we both have lives going on where we live so sometimes texting is not an option one day.

Although if that starts to happen more often, then just ask what’s going on. Maybe he’s dealing with something he doesn’t want to share, or maybe he’s annoyed with you and didn’t tell you.

Men have a hard time communicating. It’s not so easy for them.

I HATE THE DISTANCE

Yup, this and asking ourselves why teleporting isn’t a thing yet. Also, why flights have to be so expensive?

So unfair! I didn’t ask to fall in love with someone from another country.

Is this going to get easy at some point? 

Tough question. In my opinion: yes and no.

Yes, because you learn how to deal with the distance. You learn how to communicate better using your phone. You learn when to pick fights (and when not to). You also learn patience while you wait for the next time you are together.

• Related: 7 Things To Love About Your Long Distance Relationship

But also no, because you are still going to miss him. You are still going to wish he was next you. You are still going to gate the distance.

It also gets easier once you have a date to close the distance. Then the happy countdown starts, and you can stop worrying and just think about all the thing you are going to do when you finally get to be together again.

Do you agree with these thoughts you have when you start a long distance relationship? Would add more to the list? Let me know in the comments!

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Sincerely,