Things People In Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Want To Hear
As I mentioned in other posts, I’m currently in a long-distance relationship. Which, we all know they aren’t easy. It takes a lot of love and commitment. So here I am today, writing about what are those things that people in long-distance relationships don’t want to hear.
I know everyone has their opinions. But there’s a difference between having an opinion and being rude. That’s why I want to share this list.
I know that some people, especially friends and family, have the best intentions or are really curious about certain topics, but sometimes is just better to say nothing. Or they should ask in a better way. It’s okay if you want to know more about the relationship (some people need to understand the reason why), but at the same time it’s not their business and they should be happy with the things we the things we are willing to share.
[title align=”center” type=”line”]Things People In Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Want To Hear[/title]
1. Don’t you think he/she is cheating on you?
First, if you are in a relationship where you don’t trust the other person. Why are you even together? And second, being in a long-distance relationship means that you trust that person, even before you start that relationship. So, of course, I don’t think my boyfriend is cheating on me! Why would you even ask that? I mean… you don’t even know him (and I don’t mean in person).
From all the things people in long-distance relationships don’t want to hear, this is probably the one that hurts the most.
2. If you don’t tell him/her. There’s no way he/she can know you cheated.
But I would know. And what’s the point of breaking that trust? And anyway… If you think that’s okay, then good for you. But when I’m in a relationship, trusting someone is really important. Even if he’s right next to me or in the other side of the world.
Honesty is key for any relationship. Not because my boyfriend doesn’t live in the same city as me, doesn’t mean we don’t have a relationship. If wanted that, I would be single. Long-distance relationships are like every other relationship, just with the distance between two people.
3. How do you do it?
Love is enough if you really want the relationship to succeed. As simple as that. My relationship is just different. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, I can’t wait to close the distance. The distance is part of us and we just have to deal with it the best way we can.
4. Don’t you miss him/her?
Duh. What kind of question is that? Isn’t that like obvious? I don’t only miss my boyfriend, I miss my best friend too. Yeah, some of things people in long-distance relationships don’t want to hear, are just plain dumb. I sound super bitter, but honestly, are you being serious? *laugh emoji*
5. You are so strong! Long-distance relationships are too hard.
My heart is not made of steel. And I’m not that strong. I still feel sad a lot. And I agree it’s hard. But if you really want something, you can make it work.
6. When are you going to see each other again?
When people ask me this question, it makes sad. Sadly, we don’t know that information right after I see him. And it’s a little awkward to answer ‘I don’t know’ because people is expecting a date. And it’s not that easy. Especially because my boyfriend doesn’t even live in the same country. He’s miles and miles away.
To know when I can see him, we need to figure it out: money and free time. I wish we could just buy a plane ticket whenever we wanted. It would make the distance much bearable.
7. Are you guys still together?
Stop. Unless I tell you we broke up, don’t assume the distance was too much and we couldn’t make it. It’s rude.
8. If you only count the times you have seen each other. How long have you been together?
I have been together with my boyfriend for 2 years. It has been a relationship for 2 years. That’s all I want to tell you. But even if that question irritates me, because you are my friend, I’m going to answer. Probably, just a couple of months.
But anyway, why is so important to know how long we have been together in person? If I tell you 2 years, then there’s your answer. The other information is not relevant for me, so it shouldn’t be for you.
9. How do you plan to be together in the future?
Please, let’s not talk about that. It’s really too complicated. We are two people for different countries. I can’t just go and live with him. And I don’t want to get you bored with all the paperwork I have to do when the moment arrives.
Are you or were in a long-distance relationship? Did you got asked any of these questions? Or there was something really annoying that people have told you? Let me know in the comments! And if you haven’t been in one. What are your thoughts about long-distance relationships?
If you want to read more posts about long distance relationships, click here.
Sincerely, Melissa
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My partner and I agreed we wont ever leave one another without knowing when we will see eachother again – obviously we are flexible, but we want to be able to countdown when we will be together again because leaving is HARD. This was a rule for us. We started seeing eachother May 2021, first visit was August (though we’ve known eachother for about a decade), second one was September (for my sisters wedding), third will be just after Christmas and we already have flights booked for the long weekend in April. I’d love to see him the long weekend in February too but it might not work out with custody and finances to slip away that weekend.
We are both stuck in current locations due to custody arrangements with our ex’s. My custody-situation (hopefully) will change at some point as my ex is military and will hopefully get posted out at some point and I’ll assume full custody and move back “home” (ex is aware of all of this). *Home being where my current partner is and where my family (mom, dad, sisters) all live.
Being in a long distance relationship is really hard as I’m sure a lot of other people can agree …. That feeling after you have spent a week or even a weekend with him , I think the worst for me is not knowing when I’m going to see him again … Altho this isn’t a question that irritates people in long distance relationships … It’s definitely something that a person can say to irritate a young person in a long distance relationship that really wants it to last forever.. Is when the person is upset after just seeing their partner :
” There will be others , are you going to be like this every time ? ” Or ,” pull yourself together and get over it now , you can’t go on like this “
Hi Hannah! I totally agree with you. Is SO hard not knowing the next time you will see your boyfriend, and other people don’t make it easier by saying things like that. When you are in a long distance relationships it’s because you want THAT relationship to work. People that say that just don’t understand what it means to be with the right person and give a beautiful relationship a change. In my opinion, when you come across those kind of comments, just know to who you can vent about your situation. And when strangers are curious I try give a concise reply. I wish you the best!
Hello, I’m in a LDR now, about to come up to the two year mark. Im British and he is American, we met in China on a 1-month scholarship, then when we both returned to our countries it continued. Since then i’ve been and lived in China for a year whilst he was in the US, so time difference and travel was a nightmare. All of your points are so true! So many of them are such standard questions that everyone asks, and I honestly didn’t really think about the effect someone asking “when will you next see him?” had on me. Another one I’ve had is “wouldn’t you just prefer someone closer?”, which I really hate. So helpful to read this and see that you’ve put those feelings into words 🙂 Thank you!
You are welcome! Many don’t realized how hard are those questions for us. It’s important family and friends understand that our decision to be in a relationship like this, is beyond the closeness with the person. It’s all about the connection we feel with our significant other. And of course… love. I wish you the best! <3
Hi! First time I read your blog, but I found it very interesting. I was in a LDR for 4 1/2 years and I totally get what you mean! Especially the first question and no. 8…totally annoying! We would see each other once a year or so but we were always in contact through Skype. Luckily there was Skype in that time, nowadays it’s a bit easier because of smartphones and whatsapp, more instant communication. Fortunately my then boyfriend and I were able to get married and we’ve been married for 8 years 🙂 To wait and go through hard times was totally worth it. You are right, we have to trust each other and meanwhile there is love and interest, it is bearable and always sweet to see each other again. I feel that we knew each other better because of all the conversations we had, that can be considered and advantage. People are rude and nosy sometimes, they ask you about plans and things…sometimes not even the couple knows what will happen or when they’ll be able to see each other again, and they ask and keep on asking… well, I can just say I wish you guys the best of luck and that you can be together some day in the future, sooner than later!
Reading your comment is making me so happy! LDRs are difficult enough for the couple, and we don’t need people making annoying comments about our relationships. Thank you so much for reading! Knowing that your LDR had a happy ending it’s the best <3
I’ve never been in a LDR but had a friend who dated (then married) her bf after a 2-year LDR where they were in two different countries (she was in Russia, he was in the States).
Happy ending! I’m so happy for your friend. It’s really hard sometimes. I am in a similar situation. I’m in Chile while my boyfriend is in the States.
Wow! I’ve never been in a long distance relationship but I can imagine how difficult it can be.
Most of the time it is 🙁 Thanks for reading, Silvia!
What a great read! I can only imagine how frustrating getting these constant questions would be.
When it happens many times, it definitely gets frustrating. Thanks for reading, Carly!
Great post!!
Thank you, Micaiah!
never been in a LDR lol but I can imagine these can get annoying!
Yes it can! hahaha. Thanks for reading, Elly <3
I can understand why people don’t want to hear these things, very tough! What a great picture!!
Have a lovely day 🙂
Rosanna x
http://rosesrooftop.blogspot.co.uk/
Thank you, Rosanna! It is tough most days. Thanks for reading 🙂
You two are so cute! I was in an LDR with my now husband for a few months and even though it was difficult it was so worth it.
Thank you, Jenny! <3 Totally worth it.
I’ve been in a short-term LDR and I definitely get these! It was almost like a “don’t talk about my relationship unless I bring it up first” kinda thing
I feel like that most of the time hahaha. I can’t wait for the long distance part to end.
I’ve never been in a LDR but I think its quite common to get questions like these no matter what type of relationship you’re in. People have opinions and don’t always know when it’s best to keep them to themselves.
Totally true! Or sometimes is just the way they ask.
I was never in a LDR thankfully, but I so get these! I don’t know why people would ever say these things.
I think some of them just don’t know how to ask better question. Thanks for reading!
I am in a LDR when I am at University every year so 8/12 months, It is hard and sometimes sucks but it had made our relationship so much stronger
It totally makes a relationship stronger. That’s one of the benefits! Thanks for reading 🙂
I’ve never been in a LTR, but I’ve heard these questions asked a lot!
Alix | apintsizedlifeblog.com
At the end… is how you make the question. Some people just want to be rude.
I can’t relate to any of these as I’ve never been in a long distance relationship…or just a relationship for that matter. But, your post made me chuckle because I’ve asked friends these questions before.
With my up and coming, life-changing move to London, I’ve been hesitant to get involved with anyone out of fear.
Great post, Melissa!
Steph
http://www.socialspying.com
Don’t fear Steph! Being in a relationship… long distance or not, will always have downs. I never thought I would be in one. And here I am hahaha.
I am totally guilty of asking “How do you do it?” but it’s totally genuine. I can see how it would be annoying. It’s definitely tough and you don’t need constant reminders of how hard it is
It’s really more about the tone of the question. My friends always tell me they don’t know how I do it… You feel when it’s genuine. Thanks for reading!
Yes to all of this. I have been in several LDR’s in my life and will likely be in another once I leave for my next ship in a month. Long distance is already hard enough without people reminding you of just hard it is.
Right? I mean.. some people just don’t know how to ask the questions hahaha
This is so true! Long distance is hard enough, these kinds of questions do not help! I was in a long distance relationship for a while and it was anything but easy, especially since he was so far away, but while it lasted it was always worth it when we’d get to see each other!
Great post!! xo
Thank you Ariana. It totally worth it when I get to see him!
Gosh, some people can be so nosy and ignorant, haha! I also HATE how people always “expect” something to be true (especially in regards to LDRs) and when you tell them “that’s not the case with me” they kind of look at you in disbelief. *Sigh*
http://www.insearchofsheila.com
Some people just don’t understand how a long-distance relationship works! Thanks for reading, Sheila!
I have never been in an LDR but I imagine they are difficult for all the reasons that you mentioned here!! I definitely wouldn’t be opposed to one if it was with the right person, and I think that’s what you gotta focus on- the reason WHY you’re doing it 🙂
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
Yes! That’s really important. Thanks for reading!