Hey there, lovelies! If you are part of my email list or if you have been reading my personal posts, you know that I have been talking a lot about the Law of Attraction and the power of a positive attitude.
This is something I have been learning in the last two years, but I have been getting more into it since the end of last year; and let me tell you, it changed my life.
That sounds very dramatic, but it’s the truth.
Before Positive Attitude
Before knowing about the law of attraction, I would normally use reversal psychology with myself.
For example, I would tell myself “I’m definitely going to fail this test”. For two reasons: 1) that way I would have low exceptions with my grade. If I ended up failing I wouldn’t be that upset, and 2) If I truly believed I was going to fail that test, the opposite would happen.
Yes, I know. It doesn’t make any sense. My brain is weird and I’m trying to fix those problems.
Anyway, now that I know the right way to use the Law of Attraction, I feel less confused and more positive.
Before changing my way of thinking I was very pessimistic and negative. I was the person with a backup plan for the backup plan. I needed options in case of something wasn’t going to work out.
I was sure that it wasn’t going to work so having a ‘Plan B’ was my way of saying: “Life, you want to fuck with me, but I won’t let you”.
Thinking like that, meant that I was in constant state of stress. That and worrying about the future 24/7 were the main reasons why my quarter-life crisis triggered when I was 22 years old.
It sucked, my plan A didn’t work out, plan B didn’t really help, and plan C wasn’t really what I wanted. At that point, my life wasn’t going in the direction I wanted. So yeah, a big mental breakdown happened.
Now that I think about it, I’m grateful of that situation. I felt like shit and like a failure for a long time, but the distress was worth it. It led me to a new life where I’m happy.
Still struggling, but happy.
Still struggling, but happy. Click To TweetThat positive attitude is what is changing my life and the way I enjoy life. At the end of the day, the important thing is to live in the present.
Be Aware Of Toxic Positivity
Now, there’s positivity and toxic positivity, but that’s something I will talk about in a different post.
I mention this for two reasons. The first one is to explain that my life is not only rainbows and unicorns. That my head is only full of smiling emojis.
I still struggle, I still doubt myself, I still worry about the future, I can still fail or feel disappointed over something that didn’t work out.
The difference is how you deal with those feelings. If you fail, it’s ok because that mistake is having you something valuable. Or maybe it just wasn’t the right moment. Focus on what you learned while you were trying.
The second reason why I mention this is because I have seen people online preaching this toxic positivity, and I want you to be aware of that.
After Positive Attitude
Like I said in the beginning of this post, I started seriously believing and practicing the Law of Attraction at the end of last year.
My mom and I attended a few workshops about that topic and others with similar ones, and I was fascinated by the power of them.
Something that I realized is that, all of those topics had something in common: a positive attitude.
That’s the key to success and the most important thing you need before you start attracting.
A positive attitude is the key to success and the most important thing you need before start attracting. Click To TweetYou need to erase all negative thoughts out of your mind.
That is easier said than done. Especially when your head is set up to produce negative thoughts 24/7.
In that case, all you have to do is to make sure to acknowledge those thoughts and just tell them goodbye. It’s like saying, “you are here but I don’t want you, so byeeee”
It’s all process and you need to fight those toxic beliefs that were inserted by either society or your family. You know, things like: “you are smart if you are good in math” or “all pretty girls are skinny”.
Once you start getting rid of those toxic thoughts, you will start producing more positive ones.
Once you start getting rid of those toxic thoughts, you will start producing more positive ones. Click To TweetThat’s the final goal.
Now that my beliefs are slowly changing, I’m starting to feel happier. I worry less and I trust myself even more.
I trust myself to make the right decisions and I don’t worry about the outcome. Why? Because whatever happens it will teach me an important lesson. I’m grateful for that.
I don’t worry about failing. I mean, yes; It sucks a lot to fail and go through that pain. Who wants that? Yet there’s always a reason behind that failure. Let me give you an example.
In 2015 I studied abroad in the US (I’m from Chile btw!), but before going there I went through some hardships that made me think‘Okay, maybe the universe doesn’t want me to go’.
But my mom (as awesome as she is) kept saying that everything that was going on, was for a reason. If I failed the first time, I would totally make it happen the second one, and it was true.
In retrospect, all those bumps in the road were in fact, for a reason. You know why? I was about to meet my boyfriend there. Starting a beautiful long distance relationship.
Quotes like “Rejection is God’s way of saying: wrong direction” or “When a door closes, another opens” are true.
You have to know that it is important to look on the bright side of any situation. Not only to keep being positive but to also improve your self-esteem.
What Helped Me Reach A Positive Attitude
I need to thank my mom for teaching me this and being there for me. She’s the one that helped me to be more positive and introduced me to Ho’oponopono.
Now, you might be asking yourself what’s that. In simple words Hoʻoponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. Which is very helpful to stop negative thoughts. I definitely recommend looking more into it.
Mabel Katz is the one expert that my mom and I follow. We love how she explains things! You can follow her on her social media channels, but she mainly speaks in Spanish; although all her books are translated in different languages.
You can find her book The Easiest Way (Special Edition) on Amazon for only $16.87 (paperback). I definitely recommend it!
Also, surround yourself with like-minded people to help you when you struggle. For me that person is my mom, without her and her daily support I wouldn’t be writing this now.
If you don’t have anyone in your life like that, you can always send me a message. You can do that through my contact page or you can send me a DM on Instagram.
So what do you think? Do you currently practice having a positive attitude? What do you do when things don’t go as planned? Let me know in the comments!
Sincerely,
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in April 2017 and it has been updated with new links and information.
Katerina says
I am a generally positive person but on my less positive days, it really helps to deliberately remind myself of the good things in my life, big and small. Such a lovely post, I enjoyed reading it very much!
Melissa says
Yes! I like keeping inspirational quotes close to me when I’m feeling down. It definitely helps!
Stephanie says
This is really encouraging! I struggle like crazy to maintain a positive attitude. Having clinically-diagnosed depression can certainly do that to a person. However, it’s something I work on constantly, and reading this post was super inspiring. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
Melissa says
Oh yes! Some days are harder than other for sure. For me is a daily struggle. I used to be so negative that is just so hard to change fast. i just take it easy and don’t rush. if I don’t feel like being positive then I just don’t try lol
Alix Maza says
I love this! I’ve been feeling down this week, so I needed this!
Melissa says
I’m so happy this can help you! I hope everything is ok <3
Becky says
Great thoughts – a positive mindset can really help. I think as you get older you realize you can’t plan for everything either. I had a few things happen in my early 20’s which made me realize no matter how I planned or how well things seem to be going, life can always throw a curveball at you. Now I’m a bit more “go with the flow” and that’s definitely helped.
Melissa says
You are so right! When you are at the end of your teens and early 20s there’s so much pressure coming from everywhere, that you get easily confused with the reality of life and what it means to live and enjoy your present.
Go with the flow has been my mantra for years. It puts my mind at ease and I just moved on from the internal conflict.
Morgan @ Baby Got Balance says
Love this! The power of positivity is crazy and just focusing a little on the way we accept & view things can make a huge difference. Thanks for sharing!
Melissa says
Totally agree! We can try to do it little by little every day and it will make such a big difference in our daily lives.
kileen says
these are such great tips! i love the reconciliation and forgiveness practice.
kileen
cute & little
Melissa says
It’s so damn hard at first but understanding the real issue is what it helps when you have a problem.
Elvi Todorova says
Great post!! It’s good to have plan B, C,….Z. Negative thinking never leads to good. It’s the positivism that helps us reach our goals [either big or small].
P.S. if I didn’t know, I would never say that English is not your first language.
Melissa Cruz says
So so true! Some days can be harder to look on the bright side. But it’s something we should remember everyday. Thanks girl! That makes me happy. I’m still improving everyday.
Jennifer says
This was very inspirational! I love your optimism. Keep it up! 🙂
Melissa Cruz says
Thanks Jennifer! I will try my best!
Sheila Joy says
I genuinely love your writing! It has a great flow and emotion behind it, plus it’s super impressive that English isn’t your first language. I really loathe when people call out your grammatical errors on your page for everyone to see…directly messaging us is more polite!
http://www.insearchofsheila.com
Melissa Cruz says
Thank you, Sheila! You definitely make me feel better. Yes, I agree… an email would have been a better way to do it. <3
Rachel at RKCSouthern blog says
The stress reducing impact of focusing on the good, vs. the bad, is an important aspect of being a healthy individual!
Melissa Cruz says
That’s so true! It is very important to focus on the good.
Elly Leavitt says
such a cute post- love the optimism!
Melissa Cruz says
Thank you, Elly!
Kim says
This was very inspiring. Usually people can just choose to be happy! And if I’m not happy, I’ll hit a pillow like you suggested, haha.
Kim | Simply Lovebirds
Melissa Cruz says
Release frustration can help too hahah. Thanks for reading!
Ash Neverson says
Great post. I always remind myself self to keep the pity party to a bare minimum and it’s helped me go a long way. Now, I believe I don’t fear rejection anymore. And I’m living my best life so far!
Melissa Cruz says
That’s awesome! I’m still scared of that. I don’t want to fail. But it’s that important to grow. I definitely need to improve that!
Alex Carreno says
I need to write down that first quote about rejection! I’ve never thought of it that way, and it’s brilliant!
Melissa Cruz says
It helps so much! It really makes me feel better.
Lea H says
This is so true. Sometimes it takes us a while until we find the bright side but when you do it’s amazing.
Lea, xx
Melissa Cruz says
I agree! It is amazing when you are past the bad moment.
Trecee Hutchinson says
I love this post! Optimism is good for the soul. I always try to see the best in any situation and I find that this helps me to be healthier and happier in general!
Melissa Cruz says
I never thought about optimism can make healthier. But it makes so much sense! Thanks for reading!
Claire Lee says
Me too! I’m like you who always have plan A or B, maybe even C. I love planning and wanting everything to work as I planned but sometimes it doesn’t go that way; and it’s awesome to really look on the bright side – since just because some things didn’t work out doesn’t mean your world is going to end. http://www.clairebearblogs.com
Melissa Cruz says
Exactly! even though is hard to see it like that when you are sad. But once you get it. Everything will be alright again.
Helene Vlacho says
I totally agree! Thinking positive and seeing the glass half full is the best way to be optimistic and strong enough to win any battle in our lives! Wonderful and inspiring reading Melissa!
Melissa Cruz says
Thanks Helene! So true. Is better to the see glass half full.
Laila Cross says
So inspiring, even when everything seems to go wrong we can all use a little positivity! Short pity parties are the best kind, we’ve all got to move on sometime!
Melissa Cruz says
Yes! Pity parties are okay. But don’t make it too long. Thanks for reading!
Megan says
When things go wrong I tend to be pretty optimistic. I’m a silver-lining kinda girl. I think what can be really hard is when you keep getting rejected over and over. That’s where I am at right now and I’m pulling myself out of a pity party and keeping on keeping on.
Melissa Cruz says
In theory is really easy. But once bad things keep happening then is harder to look at it as something good. Yesterday I was so upset with life. And today I feel way better. Because everything has a solution!
Alix Maza says
Lol things NEVER go as planned in my life! I’ve learned to go with the flow and look on the bright side ;)!
Melissa Cruz says
Learning that is really good! When things like that happen you know better how to deal with them.
[email protected] Confused Millennial says
this is great! I like that you gave permission for those times we just can’t look on the bright side. IT really is okay to give ourselves grace in situations
Melissa Cruz says
Yeah! Sometimes is just too hard. We can’t be positive all the time hahaha
Kuleigh says
I’m really similar. I tend to think about every possible outcome but I’m disappointed if things don’t work out the way I wanted. I’ve learned to go with the flow a lot more as an adult. Things rarely work out they way we expect them so it’s better just to keep an open mind and be grateful for what we are given!
Melissa Cruz says
Being thankful of what we are given is a really god thing to remember!
Amanda Faber says
I completely agree! There is no reason to have a pity party all- life is too short
Melissa Cruz says
Exactly! Life is too short!
Charlene Maugeri says
Yes! Looking on the bright side is so important! Especially for our mental health. One of my favorite things to do is go back through old prayer journals and see what I was praying for back in the day. Often I didn’t get what I wanted but something better came along instead! Even if it took a while and some heart ache to get where I am, I’m so glad for my experiences!
Melissa Cruz says
So true! It can take a while to get to that point. But at the end every mistake is worth it. Thanks for reading! <3
Jenny says
Being able to look on the bright side is definitely important, that’s for sure.
Melissa Cruz says
Better than being sad for too long!
Mariah Canty says
Melissa, I loved reading this post! “Rejection is God’s way of saying: wrong direction” is SOOO true.
Melissa Cruz says
We just have to find the right path! Thanks for reading 🙂
Mariah Canty says
No problem! 🙂
Chel says
My mom is totally my go to person to talk to when i’m stressed out. Without her i’d be bonkers!
Melissa Cruz says
Same! Moms know exactly what to say
Marette Flora @ Floradise says
This is a great reminder when we have setbacks. This week has been one of ups and downs and I need to remember to look on the bright side during the downs!
Melissa Cruz says
Yeah! It can be really hard. But it’s worth it after
Tori Moore says
I definitely have trouble staying positive, especially recently when applying for jobs! But I love that quote about it just being the wrong direction! So true.
Tori
Melissa Cruz says
Exactly! I realized the same like a month ago. After not finding anything… I just knew I was going to the wrong direction
Miss ALK says
I really like the quote “Rejection is God’s way of saying: wrong direction” – I haven’t heard that before but that’s wonderful!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
Melissa Cruz says
I think it’s perfect. And it makes me feel better after a bad day.