How upsetting is it to have all these ideas in your head, but end up doing nothing about it because you thought you were going to fail? That has happened to me many times. I would wake up one day with a great idea in mind and by the end of the day, I would put that idea in the trash because I found a million reasons why it wasn’t going to work. It was me against me. I was sabotaging my own dreams! Luckily, I learned how to overcome the fear of failure.
It wasn’t easy. And I still need daily reminders. After all, the fear of failure is part of human nature. But now at least I know the problem, and I’m fighting it. Which is a step ahead of achieving my goals. Remember this: you are your only limit. Once you understand that, things can get a little easier.
So what did I do to overcome the fear of failure? Here are some tips that always help me to trick my brain to make it think; that in fact, I can make it work. No matter if the idea is stupid. The important thing is trying and learning from our mistakes.
Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something. Click To Tweet
[title align=”center” type=”line”]How To Overcome The Fear Of Failure [/title]
1. Trick yourself a little
It’s good to know the reasons why a certain business venture won’t work, because that way you can make a more accurate action plan. But most of those reasons are an exaggeration. And they end up scaring you. Your ideas might not be perfect, but at least you are trying. And that should suppress your fear.
What did I do? I made myself believe that those fears aren’t that important and I must continue with my work. Do you want to open an online store? Brain: Don’t do it! No one will buy your products. Me: That’s fine, I’ll be happy if I can sell at least one. Also, I’ll be working hard so that won’t happen. Do you want to start a blog? Brain: Don’t do it! No one will read it and people will make fun of your ideas. Me: That’s okay, I will have fun writing the posts. And I’m sure I’ll be learning a lot on the way. Do you want to study abroad? Brain: Don’t do it! You will end up being alone and you won’t make any friends. Also, you won’t be able to learn the language. Me: It’s okay, I like being alone sometimes. And I’ll just buy a dictionary. Nothing to worry.
The list can go on and on. The point is, make yourself believe it’s not that bad. Instead of failing 100%, you might fail 50% and that’s okay.
You are your only limit Click To Tweet2. Find an example
There’re some people that are very confident and take risks without thinking too much about the consequences. Find that person! And keep it always as an example. It’s very helpful when you are having doubts. Just ask yourself what that person would do in your situation. And it can give you that extra push you were needing.
For me, is my little sister. I always fight with her because she doesn’t take seriously many things. And I want her to understand that life is more complicated than she thinks. But obviously, she always has the perfect answers to why I should worry less, and that I’m being way too dramatic. She would just go and say: So what? If it doesn’t work now I’ll just try later, no biggie. She might be failing a class in college, panicking at first (because at the end, who wants to fail?) but at the end, she would come to me and say: You know what, if I fail that class is because I didn’t understand it. Therefore I will have to take it again. While my brain (in the same situation) would be on constant alert, crying and thinking the worst of me.
My sister drives me nuts, but she understands what I can’t get about life. That the world doesn’t end if you fail. She’s the best example of how to overcome the fear of failure.
3. Know that failure is inevitable
We know it happens all the time. We can’t escape it because it’s part of life. Not always we will have what we want the way we have planned it. And we have to make peace with that.
Think about all the moments you have failed before. Not only the big ones, the small ones count as well. Once you do that, you realize that they aren’t that bad. Why? Because you learned a lesson. Either by knowing what not to do in a business or by learning how to react to a certain situation.
Not so long ago, I took the time to think every single time my plans didn’t work as I wanted them. I realized that they were many I wasn’t conscious about. Knowing that helped me a lot to overcome the fear of failure. Because it happens more than I think.
As an example: I wanted to study abroad while I was in my third year of college. I did all I thought I was necessary. It wasn’t. And I didn’t make it. I tried again next year, still with many problems, but I ended up going. That situation wasn’t in my books as a failure since I ended up doing what I wanted. But failing the first time, made me learn that I can’t give up when I want something.
There is no failure except in no longer trying. Click To Tweet4. Think about the present
When I overthink is the moment when all the fears appear. And that normally happens when I start thinking about the future. I’ll be perfectly fine a moment, but then a question would pop up in my head about future steps or problems. When that happens I stop and take a break to make myself focus on the present again.
The moment to solve those problems is not now. Retreat. Eat a snack. Breath and center your attention in what you are doing. Those problems aren’t to solve right now. If you want, write them somewhere and solve them when it’s time. This is my favorite way to overcome the fear of failure.
5. Follow your dreams
Defy your fears by challenging yourself. I know it can be hard, but your goals and dreams are more important! Just keep going until you make it. Go with your feelings and heart. Once you face those fears you will feel more motivated to achieve all your goals.
And don’t listen to others if they try to scare you! Phrases like: you are too young or you need more experience are not real but’s for not getting what you want in life. Because if you work hard, you will see results.
Let’s make our dreams come true!
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Click To TweetDo you constantly fight with this? What do you do to overcome the fear of failure? Let me know in the comments!
Sincerely,
jess {creative index} says
These are all such great reminders! I held off re-branding and launching my shop because I was scared and didn’t want it to fail. But I’ll never know if I don’t try…. Just going to take it day to day and keep moving forward to make my goals happen and heart happy!
Melissa Cruz says
Exactly! It’s better to try and know what happens than avoid it and not knowing the results.
Alex says
Awesome post! So many people do not do things or do not say things because they are just scared of the outcome – you have to push past that fear to get to the great things in life!
Melissa Cruz says
Thanks Alex! We do have to push ourselves!
Nichole says
I love this post so much. Great reminder. Thank you for sharing!
Melissa Cruz says
Thanks, Nichole!
Kaitlyn Fickle Killebrew says
These are great tips! I definitely suffer with fear of failure from time to time, but I try not to let it keep me down!
Melissa Cruz says
That’s so good, Kaitlyn! In trying is the secret.
Courtney Connolly says
The fear of failure is probably one of the most crippling things and those are all great tips for trying to beat it. I think focusing on your thought process is key, You need to be able to recognize that your thoughts are not accurate, they are not the truth and you dont need to accept them. If you can say to yourself, “no I don’t accept this thought” and then combat it with a positive affirmation – that really helps.
Melissa Cruz says
Our thoughts can be so mean! They can cause more damage rather than help sometimes. I love the idea of saying that. I will remember that more. Thanks!
Rachel at RKCSouthern blog says
I don’t think one ever really ‘overcomes’ the fear of failure — but as long as we don’t allow that fear to cripple or hinder us from TRYING we’ve won!
Melissa Cruz says
So true! We have keep trying!
Taylor Smith says
I love this post! It’s SO important to work on overcoming that fear (haha fear of fear!) so you can be successful!
Melissa Cruz says
Yes! It can be hard, but if you try you will make it!
Tara says
this is a fantastic post – so important to not only remember everything is a lesson but to keep trying!
Melissa Cruz says
Thanks, Tara!
Dr. K. Lee Banks says
These are some important reminders. We never know if something will succeed if we never try. I think the saying is, “Success is failure turned inside out.” The other thing to keep in mind is how many people throughout history had great success only AFTER multiple failures.
Melissa Cruz says
Yeah! it is true that many people go through failure before success. We easily forget that!
Nicholle Demag says
My favorite quote is “other peoples success is not your failure” it helped me through some trying times!
-Nicholle
http://www.nichollesophia.com
Melissa Cruz says
Sooo true! Sometimes we compared ourselves with others when we shouldn’t! Great quote!
Kristen @ TheSophisticatedGal says
These are wonderful tips! I love the one about knowing failure is inevitable, it happens to everyone and it’s just a part of life – so we just have to keep moving forward and not let that hold us back! 🙂
Melissa Cruz says
Exactly! we just have to keep moving forward.
Deborah says
All excellent tips! Something I was told when I was a teenager was to “just do it. Don’t even think about whether the result will be good or not, just start for the the time being, and everything will end up fine somehow.” It’s so true though because sometimes I’m so scared of failing and wanting things to be perfect that it’s immobilizing. “Just start” has helped me take that first step towards doing anything!
Melissa Cruz says
To “just do it” is a great start! Sometimes we don’t know what the result will be and it’s important that we try!
Jenny says
This is so helpful. I have totally been afraid of failure recently but there’s no reason for that and this post helped me realize that.
Melissa Cruz says
I’m so happy to hear that!
Christie Brown says
I had a major fear of failure about a year ago. I took a step in a direction that was out of my comfort zone and was terrified of spending all of that time and effort “for nothing”. I’ve since reached the goal that I was striving for and am no longer afraid, but this post truly would have helped me. Great tips, girl. 🙂
Christie’s Take on Life. xx
Melissa Cruz says
I’m so glad that you reached that point! It can be so hard to leave the comfort zone sometimes!
Summer @ Coffee With Summer says
This is soooo spot on – amazing job, and I loved how down to earth your writing is! Sharing on Twitter!
Melissa Cruz says
Thanks Summer! That means so much to me! <3
Daynna Hartjes says
THIS. IS. SO. RELEVANT. THANK YOU. I’m currently having a quarter life crisis with a big career decision to make and I needed to hear this right at this moment. You’re a super star!
Melissa Cruz says
Aww, this makes me feel so happy! Good luck with everything! Whatever you choose it’s going to be awesome!
Paige | The Daily Paige Blog says
I just talked about this the other day, too – failure is tough! I am trying to allow myself to fail and learn from my mistakes, instead of beating myself up so badly that I never want to screw up again!
Melissa Cruz says
We can so hard on ourselves. It’s okay to fail and the world is not going to end because of that.
Rachel @ STCL says
Great post! Failure is inevitable for sure. Continuing to follow your dreams is so important though – even if the road there is a little bumpy!
Melissa Cruz says
Thanks, Rachel! So true! We can’t stop just because it gets a little difficult.
mckenna bleu says
Great tips! Failure is a very scary idea but have to rise above.
Melissa Cruz says
Exactly! That is so true!
Miss ALK says
I like your point about finding an example to look up to! I think about inspiring people in my life who are go-getters at times when I feel down and bummed for sure!!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
Melissa Cruz says
It’s really helpful! Especially when you feel like you can’t keep going. Just thinking about what that person would do can give you a boost of positive thoughts.
[email protected] Confused Millennial says
LOVE this! I think following your dreams is my favorite bit! I had a hard time finding some that could be an example… but when I started to trust my gut and know failure is inevitable i started to thrive I feel like. I feel like failure is a sign of success actually, it means your on a path and trying!
Melissa Cruz says
Yes exactly! That’s the best thing you can do. Believing that failure is a sign of success is very important! I tend to forget it, something I feel like I have to stick to my phone to remember lol
Krista @ Reroute Lifestyle says
Melissa –
I love these actionable steps to overcome fear of failure.
Well first of all you really resonated with me when you mentioned the excuses we make to study abroad…I was SCARED to do such a thing and looking back I definitely regret it.
Sometimes it really does help to take a breath, recenter, and say so what if this is a bust?
Actually in terms of blogging – some of the posts I thought were so-so…posts I was scared to hit publish on…have been my most popular posts.
Thanks for this girl! Loved it!
Melissa Cruz says
That’s a great example why we just have to go for it! We don’t know what’s going to happen and we just have to make it happen. I’m glad you liked the post, Krista!
Emily says
These are really great tips! Since I started blogging, I sort of got over that fear. My fear of failure was just starting a blog in general!! Haha. I was so afraid of what people would think. So now that I accomplished that, I am full steam ahead. 🙂
-Emily http://www.coatandcoffee.com
Melissa Cruz says
I’m so happy you accomplished that! Starting a blog can be a challenge and it definitely gets better once you start.
Chelsea Jacobs says
Yes to all of these! This is was an encouraging read!!
Melissa Cruz says
I’m so happy you think that! Thanks, Chelsea.
Amy says
Love love love this! I have def let the fear of failure stop me from what I want to do so man times. I think realizing you’re going to fail and it’s ok to fail is so important because at the end of the day failing is what makes us stronger and learn from it
Melissa Cruz says
Exactly! We have too see the fear of failure as something positive rather than something negative! It can be hard. But it’s always good to have in mind.
Lila says
I really enjoyed this – from beginning to end! I can DEFINITELY get caught up in the fear of failure. What I love about your ideas here is that some of the tips help you to get started (like tricking yourself a little), and some of them help you to keep going (like being present). Thanks for sharing your ideas! You can tell that fearful voice that said nobody would read your blog that I read it, and I’M glad you have it! 🙂
Melissa Cruz says
Thank you so much! I’m so happy that you liked it! And the most important thing… that you think it’s helpful! That was my main goal. <3