How To Deal With Arguments In Long-Distance Relationships

We all know that one of the hardest things in long-distance relationships are the arguments. Trying to explain the reasons why you are upset and trying to fix the situation can be a real struggle. Arguments can start with a simple text. They can escalate quickly. And without even noticing, what started as small fight it ends being something bigger. Arguments over text are simply the worst. So, if you are new to this kind of relationships, this advice on how to deal with arguments in long-distance relationships will be very helpful for you.

So, What’s the best way to Deal With Arguments In Long-Distance Relationships?

In these two years of long-distance relationship, I’ve been in a lot of arguments with my boyfriend. Some silly, like why I was ignoring a text. And others more serious that has left me crying and thinking that we are about to break up. In my experience, it can be hard to deal with any type of argument while texting. That’s the main source of communication in this kind of relationships. And who am I kidding, nowadays, who doesn’t text with their significant other? In a long-distance relationship or not. Talking on the phone is not that common like it used to be.

The difference comes when the argument gets out of your hands and you can’t meet up to fix the problem. Even something so simple like debating can turn up bad if you don’t use the right words. Or if you read a text in the wrong way and assume something totally different. I have to say that for me, that happens more than I want to. Or I read wrong, or an emoji was missing so the sentence ends up sounding too harsh, or even because my brain understood the idea differently.

So when you deal with arguments in long-distance relationships you should:

First of all, make sure to know where the problem started. 

It’s so easy to change subjects during a discussion. You start with something and little by little the argument is going somewhere else. And that can make it worst! I know is hard to control a conversation but it’s important to just stay on one issue rather than adding more problems to the discussion. 

If everything started because he or she left you on seen. Just talk it out. Wait for an apology and move on. Don’t make it more difficult. Avoid adding more problems or arguments like: “This is not the first time you do it” or “I remember when I did this to you, you reacted so badly…”

Just let it go.

Be the bigger person.

It doesn’t have to be all the time. But when you see the discussion is going nowhere. Then just agree on whatever the other person is saying. Why making it worst? Just swallow your pride and move on. Especially if the argument is about something silly. You might be right. But why to open the door to a bigger fight? It’s always better to fix it as soon as possible.

I know is hard. I love being right over things. I’m that kind of person who loves saying “I told you so“. But with time, I learned that sometimes is better to just accept that give in for the sake of both persons.

Try to video chat or call.

I know that sometimes that can’t be possible. But when the argument or fight is escalating quickly and things start going out of your hand. It’s better to have that conversation face to face.

You might be hurt or crying. But being face to face with the person you love can make things easier. And if not… It will make the argument more rational. You won’t need to rely on emojis and you will be able to hear your significant other’s voice. Which is always nice.

This is one of my favorite ways to deal with arguments in long-distance relationships.

Not everything is as bad as it seems. Learn about how the other person handles arguments.

The first fights I had with my boyfriend were horrible. I didn’t know how to deal with arguments in long-distance relationships. I didn’t know how to react, what to say, or how should I handle the situation. It was a very stressing moment. What I thought it was a big deal, wasn’t really like that. What I thought it was the moment we were going to break up. We managed to see through it.

With time, I learned that my boyfriend prefers to calm himself first. To have time to think everything. And after a few hours, he would be ready to talk again. While I’m totally different! I’m more confrontational and I prefer to talk about the issue until the problem is fixed.

Sometimes that can be bad too. I want things to be my way. And I was pushing him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with. Words can hurt. So if having time to cool down will bring the rational side back and it will avoid saying hurtful things. Then do that first. I’m still learning.

Remember that most problems have a solution.

Obviously, it will depend on what is okay for you and what is unforgettable. For example, infidelity. That is a big no in my book. And I wouldn’t know how to see past that if that ever happens. I know I can forgive, but it would be very hard to trust again. So for me, there are a few things that don’t have a solution. But I can count them on the fingers of one hand. Once you know those things you have an idea of when not to panic.

I know some arguments look like there’s nothing that can fix it. But it’s not like that. Yes. It might get worse before cooling down but I know it will have a solution. You might need time to figure things out. You might cry a lot. But at the end, it will be okay. Also, make sure to let know your boyfriend or girlfriend what’s going on with you or what are you thinking. Leaving hanging that person is not good. Let’s try not to worry them by keeping them posted.

Both of you will be hurting. So it’s nice when you let know the other person that even though you are super upset and hurt. Everything will be alright.

So what do you think? How do you deal with arguments in long-distance relationships? Or in any relationship in general? What would be some of your tips? Let me know in the comments!

For more long-distance relationship advice, click here.

Sincerely,

Melissa